Just a Mum?

I'm not having a fun week. In fact, its down right boring. So boring that I actually have no ironing to do, I finished it all yesterday. We had such a great weekend what with my little girls' birthday party but with not much to look forward to after, I've been bored.

I have no classes at the University until the end of September. I have a tiny part in a play in November and I already know my lines and I'm not needed at rehearsal for a few weeks. So with all this time on my hands I have time for reflection and time to write.

The writing thing scares me. Since I started blogging I have found all these mums who write and there are so many out there. Then there is all this self-publishing business. You don't even need a big publishing house to get your books out there. My cousin did it, he wrote a book a bit about his life and he self-published. Don't get me wrong, self-publishing obviously works for some people, but I don't think that's the route I want to take.

I want to be like J K Rowling, work hard for years and years and really be successful. But let's be real. That only happens to a handful of people, doesn't it? Frankly I need the money now and I haven't written more than three chapters of anything. I still have a creative writing module to do at uni next year.

Do I need to be more realistic and think about other career options. And why am I not satisfied with just being a mum? Why do I need to find a career and a way to make money? Why does my husband have to work so hard so that I never see him for a salary that doesn't afford us package holidays and new cars? We just about get by with a lot of help from my wealthy dad.

So why is it not enough for me to be just a mum? I'm good at it, and the kids need me more than anyone. My kids are happy, healthy and well-adjusted. Why would I wreck that all with an attempt at a career that has no guarantees of success?

Deep, isn't it? I'm looking forward to the summer holidays when I'll be busy with the kids with no time to reflect and doubt myself. And I cannot wait to go back to classes and really have that feeling of self-fulfilment!

TV TV TV, Give Me More!

Alas my favourite TV show Game of Thrones has just finished its first series. It was fantastic, I had been waiting for the fantasy party to get going and it ended with wonderful finish that left me wanting more! At least I still have the book to finish reading in the mean time.
I've been reading it on the Kindle, which I love but I had no idea how big the book was until I saw it in a book store recently. So wow, its a heavy book with plenty of detail and insight into all the characters.










While I'm waiting for the next series to come out there are so many other shows I love watching. Here's a list of a few that I'm loving:

1. Caprica
2. Smallville
3. Fringe
4. Parenthood
5. Brothers & Sisters
6. Big Love
7. Being Erica
8. Spartacus: Blood and Sand
9. In Treatment
                                 
Its not in any particular order. I like to analyse the shows to see if I could ever write something like them. I think I could never write sci-fi as I just don't think I'm clever enough. I think I'm more inclined to write something like Being Erica where the main protagonist is a female my age. I do like to watch old tv series as well and I'm currently rewatching Felicity. I love this one as it was so similar to my own experiences at University. Also because for years I thought I would end up at NYU so its like watching an alternate universe of my own life where I did get to go. Her character is so similar to my own, but I think its meant to be like that, where the target audience just do. I also love that its one of JJ Abrams first TV shows and many of his favourite actors are in it, Jennifer Garner, Greg Grunberg, Amanda Foreman.

If you are wondering, where are the British shows, well there are a few that I like, Doctor Who and some of the ITV dramas, but there is not much else I watch. Though Made in Chelsea is definitely my guilty pleasure!